The awkward moment in fanfiction when...readers don't understand what you're doing

That awkward moment in fanfiction when...readers don’t understand what you’re doing

One of the biggest tips of writing is to “show” not “tell”.

Unfortunately writing involves walking a thin line between knowing and speculating.

As a writer, it’s hard sometimes not being able to tell the readers straight out and coming across completely wrong guesses based on the clues and subtle cues you, as a writer, left for others to find and interpret.

That’s the key word: interpret.

Interpreting means the chance of misunderstanding and being totally lost, and though I value transparency, letting the readers figure things out for themselves what is happening is important.

The reason for the “show don’t tell” advice is simple: Spelling everything out all the time makes readers feel stupid and underestimating the intelligence of your readers is a huge mistake.

But overestimating your readers can also be a pitfall.

It’s all about figuring out the balance, and that is unfortunately something that can only be done through trial and error.

Here’s some help: make sure the story is 40% vagueness, subtle hints and cues to act as a mystery and for something for your readers to contemplate while the remaining 60% should be obvious to ensure your readers aren’t bombarding you with confused reviews, and also so they have something to base their theories on.

Word to the wise: try not to take it personally when your readers are confused. It simply means you need to add more clarity to the story and that can be an easy fix in the next chapter, and a good thing to know for your next story.

Have you guys ever come across vague elements in stories; did the author resolve them in the following chapters? Have you as a writer been told a chapter was too confusing, and do you know why?

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Book club - She doesn't Know by Aldia Carmichael

A guy and girl have some couple issues which could’ve been easily resolved if they’d communicated like they should’ve.

Book club:

A review of She doesn’t Know by Aldia Carmichael

Fandom: Card Captor Sakura

The review:

Look, this is one of those stories I might rage on, but probably not a lot. However, I far from enjoyed this story. It was tedious at best and here’s why:

The writing was blunt with simple sentence construction, not a big deal. But for a 3K story? NOOO.

Quick lesson: short, blunt sentences heighten tension so it is assumed that a climax of sorts is to happen in the near future, but it didn’t. Extremely short sentences that go on for any extended period of time with no variation of sentence length can create monotony and dullness if not used correctly. Don’t believe me? Read it aloud.   If you aren’t aiming for tension, sorry for you, you’re gonna get it.

There was a huge lack of depth and connection with the character, not once was the actual characters’ names even mentioned. No adjectives, no scene setting; the whole story was completely blank.

And dialogue? HAH! Not with this.

Everything that happened within the story was explained by the story, there was no subtly – no showing, only telling.

I’m sorry, but the conflict of this fanfic was that she didn’t know that he didn’t do the touchy-feely couple-dealy.

Good, okay, tell me why?

It’s understandable that some guys just aren’t into the whole affection thing.

But in the fanfic it stated that they were together for almost a year. Do you hear me? Almost a year. If he had such an issue with her touchy-feeliness, wouldn’t they have had some kind of conversation about it at some point? Or wouldn’t his ‘lack of enthusiasm’ be clear by then? Maybe she is just as dumb as nails.

I admit I was feeling for her in the beginning, here she was such a good girlfriend…loving, caring, wanting to plan his party and wish him happy birthday first, knowing his mother likes cooking…and here her boyfriend was:  unfeeling, dull, unresponsive…

I was actually really hoping this was gonna be one of those stories where he ‘moves on’ from Sakura, but he can’t recreate that feeling of intimacy with his new girlfriend because he isn’t as ‘over’ her as he likes to think.

But sadly no.

This story ended with cheese.

That ‘conflict’? Resolved with a snap of the fingers.

The part that actually ended the story for me was the fact that he didn’t miss her until he started getting 

bored.



Read that again. BORED. He started feeling lonely. He started missing her loving.

(This gif explains the rate at which this story collapsed on itself) 

And you know what?

HE SHOULD.

This whole thing was because she likes cuddles and he doesn’t, and to try and be angsty about it? NOT IN MY HOUSE (i.e: this blog).

Brownie points: Sad sack loved up female character, check.

She played her role well, I sympathized with her situation even if I thought her choosing not to speak to him was dumb…

Health deductions:

Character disconnect – none of the canon characters’ names were even mentioned. Role as the best friend, boyfriend, girlfriend, father? Yes we know, but how about describing them, giving them actual speaking roles, and maybe mentioning their names?

Fanfiction is about the characters and the situations people put them in, the situation is yours to play with, but don’t forget the characters in the process.

SO MUCH CHEESE – So much actual angst and drama could’ve come from this; it had the potential to be gut wrenching if I could actually feel connected to the characters in some way.

Language up – The writing is simple and being more descriptive would’ve greatly improved it. Also, PLEASE VARY THE SENTENCE LENGTH OMG IT DROVE ME CRAZY.

Red pen level: 9/10

Only because I WANTED SO MUCH MORE. I, as a reader, felt insulted that this story was written the way it was. Is the age restriction of the site 13 or 5? 

Characterization: 0/10

I didn’t recognize the characters at all….the roles I got. Best friends? Tomoyo and Eriol. He? Syaoron. She? Sakura. But description wise and behavior wise? They could’ve been empty, copy-paste insert-characters.

Plot: 5/10

As far as cheesy plots go, it wasn’t the worst, but still could’ve been SO MUCH BETTER

Overall: 5/10

Recommendation: Vary sentence length. Describe the characters and take the time to set up the story. DON’T FEAR THE ANGST!

Have you read this fanfiction? Do you think I got it right, or are we going to agree to disagree? Review the fic in question or leave me a line below.

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Book club - cinderella by envysparkler

Ray and Stella have a conversation on the stands of the soccer stadium one Sunday night. Apparently Stella’s an arsonist and Ray is sensitive.

Book club:

A review of cinderella by envysparkler

Fandom: Lemonade Mouth

The review:

I liked this story. No really.

It has elements of what makes a good story: description, characterization, natural dialogue, actual understanding of the language it’s written in. Seriously, I liked this story.

But I didn’t love it.

There was a lack of actual plot and if there was, I was missing it completely. It was too vague in terms of why Ray and Stella spoke that particular night.

Yes, it was stated that they often met at that time on that day of the week. And I loved that they had a “pseudo-friendship”, but how it came to be wasn’t explored or suggested.  There was an atmosphere of tension in the story, but that tension is never resolved.

“the recent weeks, she had more than enough motive to torch the school down”

That was a hook. But even if you caught readers there, you didn’t pull them in, and that’s where this story turned bad. It fails to answer: WHY.

The Cinderella bit for which the fanfic is named was pretty interesting in the way the analogy was used.Whatever it was (because it was vague) acted as the tower, Stella as the dragon, her heart as the princess and Ray as the prince. I found it slightly misplaced, however, as the conclusion.

Possibly the tone was too serious and though the dialogue flowed beautifully, it sort of alienated me as I read it, like I was eavesdropping on a conversation between friends – hearing things, but never understanding them.

The effect was successful in establishing a friendship between Ray and Stella, but the cause (the reason for this meeting and what they were speaking about) gets lost in translation.

cinderella failed to make a lasting connection, but if the story were continued, this chapter would be the perfect start to a mystery.

Brownie points: Dialogue I believe in! Characters-In-Character! Friendship bracelets! Character lovin'

Health deductions: Say wha…?

The “show don’t tell” rule only works when the readers actually know something concrete in the end. The relationship of the characters was highlighted at the end, but the cause and effect weren’t equal.

Red pen level: 10/10

Holy crap, you beta-ed the hell out of this thing!

Characterization: 9/10

Look too quick and readers will forget its fanfiction…

Plot: 0/10

I didn’t know what it was! (cries)

Overall: 6/10

Recommendation: Clarity is key. Keep it simple and work from there. Ensure a satisfying conclusion by making sure any issues brought up in the story is resolved somehow at the end. In this case, having Ray say, or having Stella know that she won’t be facing the fallout of her arson tendency by herself.

Have you read this fanfiction? Do you think I got it right, or are we going to agree to disagree? Review the fic in question or leave me a line below.

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Book club - Stupid Prediction by gustin puckerman

Ray’s made up sister predicts that he’ll have six kids. To no one’s surprise Ray spawns just the right amount.

Book club:

A review of Stupid Prediction by gustin puckerman

Fandom: Lemonade Mouth

The review:

The story was a fun read with its focus mainly on Ray and his sister’s prediction.

Unlike other stories, Ray and Stella didn’t get together until they both matured which was a nice change. 

However, the shift wasn’t too clearly felt as the story focused more on having the kids come into their lives than the actual growth of the canon characters.

The kids themselves were interesting because they were unpredictable and that was probably why I enjoyed reading about them. Transaction of them ageing up could have been done more smoothly because if I had to read a random section of the story and tell you how old they were and what the current number of Yamada-Beech kids were in existence in that moment, I wouldn’t know.

 One thing I didn’t quite understand was why so many other OCs had to be present.

Ray’s cousin Jack? He could’ve been replaced with Scott, couldn’t he?

Judd? Maybe Wen or Charlie? Even Jules, Patty, Mo or Olivia could’ve been Judd!

Johnson? (Who basically had no purpose) could have been Kevin again.

(Just btw, I had to scroll up and down the story trying to find these people’s names because if you count the kids, this story had more than 10 original characters against the 2 canon characters. The odds are not in your favor.)

In general, the tone was fun and engaging, but more juvenile despite saying that Ray “matured”. 

Brownie points: Interesting OCs

Health deductions:

Potty mouth – I’m not a prude, but when a story has more than twenty swear words for every thousand words, you know Popeye needs to take a seat.

Scene whiplash (ah! My face!) – For every scene change and time shift, it’s usually done with “Anyway”, the lack of flow from scene to scene just hits you.

Red pen level: 6/10

Problems with tenses and incorrect words used.

Consistent length of paragraphs which isn’t an offense, but there’s a sense of monotony which doesn’t work with the tone of the story.

Characterization: 8/10

Takes place in the future so it’s hard to tell how much of canon Ray is retained. Characterization for mature-him is entertaining, but I could still identify canon Ray in his presentation.

Plot: 7/10

Basically proving Ray’s (OC) sister right and the premise is interesting enough.

Overall: 7/10

Recommendation: Actually describing things without the swearing and making me feel like I’m listening to some bratty teenager with all his “whatevs” and “yo”s would be nice.

More canon characters would’ve been appreciated, if there are going to be OCs, its best if there’s 1 OC for every 2 canon characters because making your readers like your story and remember everyone’s role and name in your fic requires going back and scrolling to check if they got everyone down, is waste of time.

The attempt to distance the characters from their actual timeline is understandable, but it’s far from convenient.

Have you read this fanfiction? Do you think I got it right, or are we going to agree to disagree? Review the fic in question or leave me a line below. 

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That awkward moment in fanfiction when...the hiatus bites back

That awkward moment in fanfiction when...the hiatus bites back

3 December 2013

Sibling Intervention, Chapter 24

When it comes to chaptered stories, going on a major hiatus is the worst possible thing you can do. Seriously.

You actually forget certain aspects of your own story, how far you are in the plot, how you’ve characterized everyone and what your end game was when you started it i.e: this character ends up like this; the story ends here because; have to bring up and resolve this issue, etc.

There’s no real cure that I know of other than to reread your own story and hope the inspiration that came from writing it in the first place comes back.

And that can be a huge pain in the ass when the story is long…

Mine wasn’t so bad, but the word count from chapters 1 to 23 was about 101K so that was a lot of reading to do, and since it was something I wrote I tended to jump over things I shouldn’t have.

Fortunately it gave me a chance to do edits and re-familiarize myself with the story I had left behind.
Unfortunately it made me forget how much time had passed since the readers had seen the story.

I mentioned a conflict that happened two chapters before the recent update.

Not so bad.

The lapse between updates was almost a year.

Now it’s bad.

I knew that with chaptered stories, updates could be irregular, so I always added a “recap” section at the beginning of each chapter.

Sadly I forgot that my “recap” always involved what occurred in the previous chapter and not before, and frankly it wasn’t very descriptive.

Word to the wise: When writing chaptered stories, keep reminders up where necessary. Not enough to be repetitive, just enough to give readers (and yourself) an understanding that the information you’ll mention isn’t new.

Any tips of your own from bouncing back from hiatus and carrying on a story? How does it feel as a reader to carry on a story that hasn’t been updated in awhile?  

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