Experimentation: THE REVIEW BINGE

January 2015

Story Review Date Story Updated @Love's Flaming Fire, Ch 1 1/2/15 9/15/13 Unfortunately (or not) I'm unfamiliar with both fandoms so it seemed a pretty seamless blend to me. The first paragraph went a bit all over the place for me. First Sully's walking, and then he thinks about his daughter and how they couldn't spend time together because she had to return to the hospital. THEN. You mention Andrew and Michaela are treating Elizabeth, and then go from talking about Colleen to talking about Michaela. It feels abrupt. If you went from how proud Sully is that Colleen turned out so well because of her mother/because of Michaela,for example, it would be easy to follow the train of thought. Dealing with why it is he's thinking about Michaela also wasn't too clearly answered. I don't know who Elizabeth is until a bit later on (lack of fandom knowledge most likely), but since you mention Elizabeth, don't skip Sully being worried about Michaela because it's her mother that she's treating: it answers the question without throwing too many names in. The kind of pressure and stress Michaela would be under would give Sully (and me) enough reason to think about (and connect to) her throughout the story. The next paragraph about Boston itself is also a rather abrupt change in topic and it feels almost random, interrupting the flow of the story. It gets a bit more frustrating since you go back from Michaela to Colleen. Perhaps moving the paragraph about how he's dressed and why could be shifted to when Colleen is first introduced. Since the story is focused on a person rather than a particular event, it's important that the reader doesn't get confused about who the story is about which is happening right now with all the jumping back and forth. You've also made three references to Sully just "lookin'": Once in dialogue, another in action immediately after that and the last after the store owner speaks to him. It's a bit repetitive. If, immediately after Sully speaks, he takes a look around just to take stock of his surroundings, it would've been a different thing for him to do rather than saying/doing "I'm just looking". The readings were interesting, and I liked that he immediately took to thinking about Michaela. It would've been even better if he likened some specific experiences in reference rather than just brief mentions that way it would feel a less like telling-and-not-showing. Beyond that, Sully's conversation with Robert reads too rehearsed. I don't know if it's just Sully's nature, but saying he's from Colorado and that his wife is from Boston seems explanatory enough for friendly conversation (him being from New York and moving out west feels like unnecessary information). I notice, now that more dialogue is involved, that you tend to tag whoever is speaking literally after they speak. Sully said this. Robert seemed impressed. Sully chuckled. Take a break from the tags every now and again, there's only two people in the conversation after all and it's not that likely that readers will be confused about who is speaking. I didn't quite get the last bit when Robert recognizes who Sully is. Probably fandom knowledge, so I won't comment on it. This story is several months back so I think by now you may have already addressed some of the problems I've mentioned, but hey, reviewsss! And speaking of, horray, you reached the end of this one xD Don't know if you still want a few more reviews like this so I'll let it be for now. Happy writing. @Fire Without a Spark: A Guide to Panem, Ch 1 1/2/15 1/1/15 Wanting to write out observations of the districts, it's cultures and diversity is an interesting task - is it hobby of Junichi's or is there another reason? This was an open door for character development: Tell me why he's doing it. It can't just be because he wants someone to read it one day, what would be the point of that? Is it just because he had interesting encounters, wanted to share what he knew (to what end?) or because it plays a part of his memoirs? WHAAAAT ISSS ITTT? *frustrated* I liked that you really looked at the districts - whether they were happy, what industry they thrived in, their relationship to the Capitol, the people that lived in them. BUT. You've been telling us things readers of the Hunger Games should already know (or at least already have an idea of). There's very little new information, and it's all written impersonally. There's no individual touch to any of the analyzing. His humor peaked a few times, but not enough that the account read like anything less than a textbook. "Guide" books have a way of sounding interesting, they have to otherwise no one would read them - one of the reasons people trust guidebooks is because they make the reader feel like they can trust the author because: A) The author has experienced it and B) Because the author is sharing information and knowledge that is unique to their position. I don't really get that from this story. The character voice lacks empathy when it talks about bombs going off, starvation, rioting crowds - as if seeing from the outside. And yes to a degree, they are, but Junichi talks about things happening, not necessarily the individuals experiencing it - surely he would've run into a few people. How about his meetings with the tributes? The random people of the districts? The Peacekeepers? He doesn't even need to speak to them! So far observing seems to be his strong suit, why doesn't he observe the characters he comes across? You give me figures and blank faces, and it all means nothing to me. The narrative does nothing for me. And that's a problem. With any story, guide or not, making the reader care or at least be interested in the narrative or the subject is key to having a story, and unfortunately I didn't get that from this. Apologies for the slight rage. You've got the English language down, punctuation, paragraphing and all. You definitely know your fandom, no question about it. But the fact that you've got all of this down rages meeeeeeeeeeeeee and I'm not sorry x_x @Worth the Wait, Ch 1 1/2/15 11/6/11 It's unfortunate that I'm not more familiar with the fandom, but thankfully Wikipedia was very helpful in filing in my points of confusion. I think this is the gap after Kate goes to the restaurant and Alex doesn't show up, yes? I'm not sure how much you've altered from the original, but from the little I know (thank you Wiki) it doesn't seem like too much... I liked how you focused on Kate moving on, trying to rationalize how she felt about choosing to almost settle for Morgan when she was still in love with Alex. I think I would have enjoyed it a bit more if you expanded a bit on how Kate moved on and may have struggled along the way - resisting the urge to write a letter, checking the mailbox, etc because it reads as her "moving on" in roughly two paragraphs before being thrown back in to where the movie picked up from. There was definitely tension when everything fell into place for her, but again, I would've liked to experience it in some way. For example she could have been looking at the drawing and sort of "seeing" the pieces fall into place (if that makes sense). My main problem (besides it sounding very close to what I read on Wiki besides the addition of Morgan) was that there was a lot of telling and not enough showing. This story is a few years old so I don't think you have this problem anymore, but hey, you wanted the review xD @One Light, Ch 1 1/2/15 8/21/10 That was...wow...You managed to deal with such a big loss so sensitively and with as much understanding as you could in the places of Raphael, April and even Casey. I can't even begin to think about something so heartbreaking, but what sold me was that not everyone was unscathed: Raphael was harsh towards Casey, Casey unwilling to keep on fighting and April barely holding on as is. It isn't a pretty picture and I liked how it was contrasted by the festive season. I wasn't as happy with the one year jump, but at the same time I thought it was deserved considering the holiday season. Though it did take away from all the angst and build up before that time. Overall though, the story was well written and I enjoyed it. Thanks! @Just Some Fresh Air, Ch 1 1/2/15 9/11/13 So I skimmed the story and noticed that some words are randomly capitalized - perhaps due to a missing full stop. I also noted a few repetitive use of "Minerva asked" and "Abigail said" so perhaps vary when you indicate when a person is speaking. Otherwise, that, at a glance is all that stuck out to me. The story itself is simply told. Romantic - fluffy almost. As beautiful as Neville's discovery was, his presentation to Abigail and the what it meant for him to show her his discover was sweet, I felt "meh" about it. Don't get me wrong, the flowers, what makes them unique and how Neville had come to find them and take care of them were well done, but the part about Abigail made it all seem..dull almost. Perhaps it's because I know nothing about Abigail just that she's the DADA professor, married to Neville, constantly late and has a nice smile. I don't know anything about her as a person. Not that I need her life story, just a personal touch to how she sees and experiences things as the DADA professor at Hogwarts. Building the perspective of the narrative character is important because they set the tone for the rest of the story and Abigail felt almost lifeless. That for me, made the story sink. Don't get me wrong, the idea was interesting, the writing itself was fine, but you need to develop your voice as an author and be able to lend that voice to the characters you create - it's a difficult task mind you, but achieving it will enable your story to stand out against the rest. Good luck! @The Chi of the Chief, Ch 1 1/1/15 7/26/12 Yay, I know this fandom! I liked the use of chi to locate people - or in particular how the chief used in search of Po. However, though this story is categorized in Spiritual, there were very little spiritual aspects of it besides the chi. Yes, he has been using it almost every day in search of his son, but how he searches for Po using the chi is relegated to a single paragraph. I did appreciate how he saw other people's chis though (it's a vague picture in my mind, but it's there). I'm very curious about how he gets into a state of meditation to search through the different chis for one in particular. I think it would've been interesting to delve a little deeper in that respect instead of using four paragraphs almost consecutively to talk about how the villagers no longer believed that his son was alive. It was interesting to know about their perspective in the chief's daily task, but their perspective isn't as important as chief himself, yes? In this case I think a bit of purple prose would have helped the story along nicely in particular describing the sensation of searching through the different energies of people because it just feels like a magic power that anyone can do at will (kind of like how in Dragon Ball almost everyone that can fight can sense ki). Word choice wise there's a constant use of chi. Understandable considering the topic. But there have been many names to refer to it "life energy" being one. Perhaps you may have avoided using other names to prevent confusion, but if you described it in a similar fashion I think it could have been avoided anyway. Despite it being a spiritual story I didn't feel all that connected to one of the most spiritual things about this story - the chi search or the chief's plight to find his son. It all feels like you're telling me instead of showing me. It was an interesting concept though so thank you for directing it my way :) @Devotion is the key to Survival, Ch 1 1/1/15 11/10/13 The first paragraph is a constant "Rick" this "Jenner" that, perhaps try to replace some of the proper nouns next time in order to stop everything in the paragraph from sounding repetitive. Perhaps it's because I'm not familiar with the Walking Dead fandom, but I don't see what Jenner's relationship to Rick is. Obviously it would be fandom knowledge, but in this case I don't understand at all why Jenner is thinking about him or his group. Yes, he compares Rick and the group's devotion to his own devotion of his job and wife, but I'm struggling to connect with Jenner's character as well as what he thinks of Rick. Also, even though it's the name of the story and the central theme, I feel like all you did was tell me about how devoted these people are rather than showed me. Mentioning Jenner's wife and all that sad back story didn't do much for me because its told in the same fashion as one would how many spoons of sugar they take. There's no emotion to the reminder. Sometimes setting can be avoided in some manner in short stories, but the problem with doing that is the story lacks tone. Maybe if you set the scene a bit more I'd feel compelled to understand the reason Jenner thinks about Rick besides being told directly by the author. I don't think this story was written for New Year's so I have to wonder why they're watching the clock. The reason is probably fandom related, but I don't understand the significance of waiting until zero and that takes away from even more tension in the story. I would probably have enjoyed this more had I known more about the Walking Dead, but even then the lack of emotion and the telling-not-showing makes it difficult for me to be satisfied. @The Way I Loved You, Ch 1 1/1/15 4/12/12 Sigh, and here I thought I'd get to sail my ship once more. Damn. I like the stand you took on their relationship. More than friends, less than lovers. Don't get me wrong, I'm still going to fly that Zutara flag high, but this new perspective does help me to understand why Kaatang was canon. The take on their friendship was appreciated and a nice break from the shipping war stories I come across sometimes. However, something did bother me. It may just be preference, but the story telling feels very blunt if I can put it like that. As if you're simply telling me what's happening rather than showing me. I also get the weird vibe that you're holding back on the feels, and trust me, there would be feels aplenty for something like this. To quote: "One day you'll meet someone you'll love beyond comparison, and one day you'll realize the harsh reality of never getting to be with them". Though that was probably because you weren't going the romance route and I'm just a disappointed fangirl. But, sigh, can't win 'em all. Nonetheless, I really enjoyed this. Good job :) @The Words of Fools, Ch 1 1/1/15 12/29/14 I think one of the hardest parts for kids that have been bullied is to admit they're being bullied mainly because they're afraid of what another person will say - the chance of being rejected again seems too hard to bare... I'm glad David turned to his parents instead of away, having someone force you to listen, in a way, is what he needed. I'm glad I read this by the way, I've stayed away from the #ForAdam stories because I've been both the bullied and the bully, and it doesn't bring up happy feelings in me regardless (though I doubt that was the point). In any case, this story did a lot in dealing with a problem a lot of people have while at the same time making sense in the context of your story so that was really well done. Thank you! @Living Vicariously, Ch 1 1/1/15 3/30/14 OH MY SOUL. For a second I was like "what...the hell am I...NONONONONONO!" And then you hit me with Mariam and all was right with the world ah! This was genius, well and truly. I haven't seen something this clever in awhile, and I think the only reason it isn't as popular as it deserves is because you have an unfortunate amount of Mary Susannes walking around - you have my pity. Multiple eye colours. Astounding beauty. All the boys drooling. Sigh, the life of a boy-crazy fangirl obsessed with her fictional love interests. I envy your writing ability, you got out all the rant with just the right amount of example-like snark. I can't wait to see what your Gajevy story will look like ;) @FAGE 007: I Feel Your Pain, Ch 1 1/1/15 11/17/14 Reading the summary I was under the impression that this was Bella/Jasper, and I'm quite glad it's not. I liked how you portrayed Jasper as responsible, and wanting to do something, because that's how I imagine Jasper to be. It's bothered me somewhat that he didn't do so in the source, but hey, that is what fanfiction is for. I also enjoyed how you touched on Jasper and Alice's relationship without overshadowing what the story is about. Considering other portrayals of the pair, I think yours is one of the view I actually don't mind reading about (hint hint Alice/Jasper fanfic pleeeasssee?) You also showed the extent of which Alice and Jasper would go for Bella. If not for Edward, then because they see her as a friend and actually want to help her, again, not something I usually come across reading Twilight fic. Anyway, enough of my rambling. I really did like this and I hope you write more, just don't make me cry like you did with your Bones stories xD @Things Left Unspoken, Ch 1 1/1/15 8/4/14 Wow...I'm not familiar with the fandom (at all) and yet...I feel so...connected by what you've just written and I... Dear Lord, what have you done to me x_x That was beautiful, don't get me wrong, I'm in awe actually. It's lyrical and filled with imagery, but without overloading or feeling forced and that's quite a feat. I enjoyed this immensely! No dialogue (which is my weakness), and you've succeeded in wooing me tremendously. Wow. Just wow. And that ending, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME. If I can say anything to help you, it is the summary: Adding "full summary" inside is unnecessary. I would've read it with what you've given. Amazing work! @Ignis Aurum Probat, Ch 1 1/1/15 1/1/15 I really enjoyed the prologue. However, I think directly comparing obstacles to fire would have been easier to imagine then to a dragon because you would later mention fire being used to test gold and I still have the image of a dragon in my head. You did ask a lot of interesting questions though in particular to what happens if one cannot defeat their monster (which could've been "dragon" instead because that image is still there) and that's a very interesting concept to want to explore. When you mention the gold analogy, it feels like it comes out of nowhere. I don't know if alchemy and the character's knowledge of fire being used to test gold is in fandom, but I think it could have been expressed a bit more elegantly so that it interconnected with what you mentioned about obstacles and dragons. If you asked me what I thought of when you place the imagery of dragons and gold in my head, I think of treasure hunting. But you aren't talking about that, now are you, so it's a bit confusing since you deal with so many elements. Moving on.. There are several walls of texts. Granted they're mostly related, but some can be split into smaller paragraphs. When you introduce Vaan you say he's excited. One paragraph. Then you tell me why. Another paragraph. It may just be personal preference, but when a paragraph looks bit daunting it's easier for readers to stomach if they get the information in chunks. You also mentioned the setting briefly with the sand dunes and such, but I have little idea where it is I actually am. Is it outside a city? Is there anyone else there but the wolves? You spent a single sentence describing the landscape which is fine, but considering there are cliffs and such, and Vaan is moving from dunes everywhere to being on top of a cliff, my sense of time and direction is a bit muddled. He also doesn't seem to search too long. Despite his excitement in the beginning, he's suddenly impatient. As I said, my sense of time is confused - I don't know how long he's been looking - was he being very diligent and genuinely got tired (from hours of hard work/the heat of the desert) or did he think this job was all excitement and got impatient that it hasn't been all that exciting at all? Or both? You aren't giving me a lot to go on here from a reader perspective. I think you may have missed a comedic opportunity with the confrontation of Vaan and the Rogue Tomato. But if you don't do humor, please ignore this. What happened to the Rogue Tomato after he knocked it out by the way? What do you mean by "subdue"? The break to see the flowers and get lost in a bit of foreshadowing back story wasn't too badly done, however, I did feel like it was a "Hey, see what I did there?" flag. It isn't bad mind you, but I think you might've gotten the same impact had you said that the flowers caught his attention, made him feel nostalgic and lost in thought before the next piece of action happens. The unnamed woman was...annoying. Honestly. The shouting, the CAPS lock abuse. No. I don't...No. She was my least favorite part of this. I think I would have respected her a bit more if I had an actual "visual" on her. The way she stands, narrows her eyes, tilts her head, etc. build a full picture of what you want to portray her as. Having her shouting and calling people idiots doesn't do much for me other than "she has anger issues". Perhaps I'm being too harsh considering there's very little I know about her as of yet. I did like how she tells Vaan it's foolish to give his name so easily though because it shows she's not naive and isn't going to trust just as anyone (even with something as simple as a name). I don't know how your other chapters too, but I really hope you let the characters breath a bit and not throw them into action after action - there's very little I could discern from when they were fighting. Also, I hope you take your time, there's nothing wrong with moving a little slowly to set things up: everything feels like stuff is happening, and that's good, but I don't know why it's happening or why I should care that it's happening. Okay, enough of my rambles. You've got a good foundation so far regardless of my criticisms so I hope you carry on :) @Changing Fate Together, Ch 1 1/1/15 12/31/14 Short: Agreed. Sweet: Oh, but how cruel xD I think there may have been a bit of a word mix up, "tome" is a book, is Laurent carrying "tomes" as in "books"? (Not part of the fandom, sorry *hides*), wouldn't that be a bit...strange? If it is indeed part of hisarsenal (or I have the wrong meaning of the word), perhaps expand on how it is they're carrying it, what the importance of it is and in turn give me to understand the gravity of the situation he is riding into. At this point I just thought that they had a bit of a tiff and he's storming off to read a book angrily (cough). Moving on. It is, as you said, very short. I know you might have wanted to add tension by doing this, but don't be shy about descriptions. This chapter is missing a lot of tension, and goes from one action and emotion to another, it doesn't feel connected very well... Another thing, the waking-from-dream thing was a bit too abrupt. On my phone I couldn't see the line break, and was very confused by the sudden shift (would you believe I can't see italics either?). May I suggest taking full advantage of Lucina's emotions? She's just dreamed up something terrifying, the death of someone important to her, I want to feel to some degree how she felt. Also, she's just woken from a nightmare, waking up in the dark you'd think she'd feel a bit more disorientated, confused, yes? Lucina went from "GASP I'M AWAKE" to "Oh...it was a dream..." You did leave quite a cliffhanger there regardless so I hope the next chapter comes out soon for your faithful readers' sake. Happy writing! @A Consquence of an Unfortunate Prank, Ch 1 1/1/15 12/18/14 I really like the image you've set up of a happy family enjoying the holiday with their tradition of the family picture and their festive jumpers. I also enjoyed the slight parallel Hermione made with the Victoire, Fleur and Dom and the Series of Unfortunate Events, however, shallow. Having said that, the shallow part is what bothered me. This oneshot could've been expanded quite nicely to include further parallels drawn between the three Veelas throughout the years that Hermione had witnessed them grow. I did enjoy the lightheartedness of this story though so good job :)

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Author rant: The other side of the writing spectrum

I'm disappointed in myself for denying the opportunity to write something that is beneficial for someone else.

My name is Angela, also known as cheshireSorrows, and I am a review addict who doesn't like to share.

Reviews are an author's drug. 

No one will admit they crave it to give them the strength for their next fix and no one will admit that they've rarely handed it out to others. 

The account I'm currently using on fanfiction has been in around since 2012, and I shamefully declare that I've written less than a hundred reviews in my two year time. In fact, I've written around 62 since I went on an experimental REVIEW BINGE which was arguably to my own peril.

I wasn't familiar with some of the fandoms people wanted stories reviewed for, and some oneshots/first chapters were much longer then the others (one went to almost 9K words). But the most horrifying thing about it was that I didn't know why I had so much to say.

Writing a story takes work aplenty, let me tell you: 

Fighting with the English language. Trying to get the plotbunnies to behave. Worrying about whether the story is "good" or not. Wondering if you've done the characters and fandom justice. Wondering if anyone will even read the damn thing! It's all a big shit fest sometimes. 

I know those feelings as well as any other writer out there, and to be on the other side of it was a different experience altogether.

Since I posted the REVIEW BINGE on a facebook group with my own facebook profile (not one made for my fanfiction) the people I was reviewing knew exactly who I was. There would be no anonymity to hide behind - no avatar persona people could look to and hate if I crossed the line somewhere. And for that I'm kind of thankful. 

With the amount of trolls all over the internet, it's difficult to put yourself out there in a way that lends you to ridicule both as a writer and as a reviewer. I can't even count the times that people have complained about Reviewer A just not "getting" the story or Reviewer B who just annoys the hell out of the author because they say the same thing every time, the list of complaints go on, and I understand that too - I've received just as many of those in my ten year stay on fanfiction - I get it.

At the same time, I couldn't just throw praise at people unless I felt the story drew that reaction from me.

I wasn't a fluff reviewer, I knew this long ago. If all people wanted was to bolster their review count (even if it was just to get one review at all) they were going to be in for a surprise.

For the longest time, especially when I was younger, all I wanted was for my review count to go up - for people to tell me how much they liked my writing, and for a long time I SUCKED. Rereading previous work, I came to the conclusion that I SUCKED ON A WHOLE DIFFERENT LEVEL OF SUCK. 

The only reason I got better at all was because of one reviewer. A guest. A very rude guest. A very rude guest that wasn't afraid to rip me a new one and call me out and every little thing new, young writers think they're so special and unique for. 

It was a hard lesson to learn. 

No. That's putting it lightly. 

After getting that review I didn't touch fanfiction.net for over four months. I was that terrified that whoever this guest reviewer was was going to find me and rip me another one, and I just wasn't ready for that. Still, I was determined to write and even more to prove to that reviewer that I could, and that was basically why I tried to get better. 

Of course I didn't want anyone to be as traumatized as I was so I did it in a way that I would like to get a review like that.

Tell me the good stuff. Tell me the bad stuff. Tell me how to fix it. 

I don't know if I accomplished that with every review I gave, but at least they were long and (hopefully) insightful. I did feel lost occasionally - where do I start, what do I even talk about, did I actually like this story or not? Then there was the author's feelings on the matter, could they take a few harsh words, would they understand why I'm saying what I'm saying, would they even want any crit I had to give? 

This a different minefield to navigate than to write a story mainly because it isn't about the reviewer but about the author and their work, and if I cared a whit about their work as much as I cared about mine, I would tell them what I would want to hear and if I got it wrong, that's okay too. 

Reviews themselves are subjective. There is no right and wrong. 

Just because I saw stuff to criticize in a story doesn't mean no one else will enjoy it, it doesn't mean the author should defend themselves to me - how they write their story, what they want to do with it, how characters are portrayed is none of my business, I as the reader, am only sharing an opinion. 

Why then do authors crave these reviews? 

It's simple. Communication. Connection. 

Writing is almost always a lonely craft. It's you and your words for the longest time, your imagination and your plot bunnies keeping you company.

Having someone talk to you about it makes the loneliness seem worth it. Having people experience your story, think about what is happening and having someone just pay attention is one of the most fulfilling things about writing, and the most obvious way an author knows you felt something when you read their work? A review.

Writing those reviews made me more appreciative of all the ones I received throughout the years, good and bad, and also gave me to see others' writing, as well as my own, in a different light. 

So write one. Write a review right now. RIGHT NOW. To anyone. For any story. Write a review that you would want to receive. DO IT.  

Also, here's all the reviews I gave under the REVIEW BINGE post, just because I'm not ashamed of anything I had to say (confusion over fandoms notwithstanding).

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Author says: When I have to raise the white flag

In the ten years now that I've been writing fanfiction, I've written and deleted more stories then I can even remember. Posted on the site however...If you were to ask how many, what names, which fandoms, I could probably tell you because deleting a story/taking it down for whatever reason can be pretty embarrassing.

It's kind of like stringing people along - baiting them with this wonderful idea, and then telling them, "Hey, joke's on you, I'm not actually going to write this anymore!"

And I hate it when that happens.

I've been reading fanfic as long as I've been writing it so I've been lured into incomplete stories before. Years have gone by and nothing.

The worst is not knowing when a story hasn't been updated in a while, and you reach the last of the story so far and you hope that in a week/month/year it'll continue...and then you check the last update and your heart falters - TWO YEARS AGO. SERIOUSLY.

I think that's why I prefer to delete rather then leaving them there to linger...

If there was an option between incomplete and complete, perhaps labeled "hiatus" or "abandoned", it would be a different story. But considering my reasons for not continuing stories in the first place, there's a chance I wouldn't even use those...

Real life problems aside, I'm a very sensitive person.

Sure I can take criticism from others, but when it comes to my own? Hoo boy, there's no competition there.

I've always been pretty self conscious about my stories, they're an extension of myself: my self-conscious, behavior, thought process. Unfortunately as most of my stories are driven by the plotbunnies, it's usually a jumbled mess.

In the past that's why I rarely ever finished a story, in fact, Sibling Intervention was my first one, and even then I wasn't completely satisfied.

The reasons for that was simply because upon rereading, my head hurt.

There was pacing problems, characters that should have had bigger roles were sidelined, scenes lingered unnecessarily, there was all this build up and no pay off and I had words upon words. If I had written that for NaNo I would've finished with weeks to spare because that's how bloated I thought it was and it still wasn't going anywhere.

The reason for Permission Granted getting the fanfiction erase button was just as simple.

Despite the story only being two(three) chapters in, I felt lost.

It was likely because as the readers hoped, I continued a story that I hadn't thought further than the first chapter for.

Sure Liberties Taken was satisfying to a degree, but as one of the reviewers said, it had a comfortable amount of potential to be left on its own. Though I felt the same, I ignored it. Why?

Well for one thing, the reviews for the story was amazing. Liberties Taken has, since today, hit 51 reviews. I've never had that many for a single one-shot. And, though Permission Granted was only two chapters in, it had hit the same amount fairly quickly.

And as a writer, feedback is my drug. I need that ish.

If you're a writer of any kind you know you want someone to talk to you about your work, it's the best feeling - it means someone has read it, spent time on it and thought about it enough to voice an opinion over it. The only way to get it though was with a good story so that's how my stories become my dealers.

What I needed though, was a redo if I wanted this story to be satisfying not only to read, but to write as well.

I didn't want to be using half baked ideas and suffering the same problems as Sibling Intervention.

After sitting with it for awhile whilst NaNo is happening (which I'm not sure I'll continue considering the problems I can already foresee), I had an idea of what I wanted to do with Liberties Taken. Unfortunately it required a bit of a face lift which simple editing just would not fix.

Plus, because of the encouragement I received with Sibling Intervention I wanted to try my hand at publishing, maybe with SI and maybe with LT. Who knows...?

Regardless, this face lift didn't need competition within my own stories.

Just yesterday, after posting a one-shot I had written out of the blue, a reviewer praised the story before asking about Permission Granted.

Sigh. Anyway.

My random bouts of OCD aside, a part of me was embarrassed for caving to the review craving.

I didn't even know what the point of Permission Granted was when I reread it.

Though, Lady Ruthless was kind enough to say,

"It seems more like an Emma fanfic than P&P"

And, though I truly love Emma, writing Emma and not Elizabeth was not my intention.

I felt just as embarrassed by it as I was by Sibling Intervention when it was over. I had no desire to keep on writing Permission Granted, but I did want to let the plotbunny have its glory day, the idea had merit and I owed the people who liked it enough to want more and give them more.

Hopefully I won't disappoint, though I'm afraid I already have.

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Review spotlight

"I really love the way you write, it's very Oscar Wilde, dry and witty."

- Guest, chapter 2 of Permission Granted

 

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Should I stay or should I go?

Should I stay, or should I go? 

A response to an article and the following discussion

So I came across this article  on the NaNoWriMo facebook group which was followed up by a heated discussion.

If you'v read it, you probably have your stance on it.

If you haven't the outline is as follows:

A woman, an active writer in her day, meets her husband and her passion fell by the wayside. She had kids, and a supposedly happy family. Then her mother passed away, and to cope, she wrote letters to her as if she were still alive. This method of grieving sparked her writing bug to return with a fervor.

Her marriage and family life, as a consequence, fell by the wayside this time - she reports that her husband was used to going to bed at night without her and she was often ill-tempered and depressed when she wasn't writing; certainly not the right temperament to be raising two small children.

Torn between pursing her dream of writing and neglecting her duties at home she eventually decided her family was better off without her and left.

Her kids were understandably upset, and many went to calling her a Runaway Mother.

She abandons her family - self titled was the declaration, all in pursuit of her dream and her chance to be published.

In the thread, most agree that the mother was selfish for leaving. Kids are a lifetime commitment. Her parents must have sacrificed their dreams for her, she should do the same, etc.

And I agree.

Many parents have sacrificed a great deal for their children. Many have the capacity to love so much that they would do anything for their family. She admits that her mother would've been upset at what she had decided to do, but she knew either borne out of selfishness or because she knew she lacked that "nurturing, motherly gene" that she wouldn't change and eventually her husband and children would resent her, she left.

Some argue that she should've taken her children with, her dream could certainly balanced with taking care of her children, shouldn't it?

Yes, I understand that children need their mother.

But they also need stability.

When she left her family, she went towards an uncertain future - working full time, writing full time; there would be no time for her children there with her and I highly doubt she had the financial resources to provide for them - her now ex-husband was definitely the breadwinner.

The argument though that the "Children need their mother" angered me.

Children need their father too.

If he had left, certainly this discussion would've been different.

The fact that people say she should've just stayed married and with her kids, says a lot to me. This woman was clearly miserable - perhaps it was the weight of choosing to be a wife and a mother first and abandoning herself, and then the added load of having her own mother pass, but staying married just to prevent her kids being from a "broken home"?

There was another article in which she describes being a monster to her kids.

She decided that her kids being around her, in the state she was in, was no good.

A broken home, as some have said, is better in situations when mother and father either can no longer co-exist or one's presence has a detrimental effect on the family. And to my understanding, that seemed to be the case with hers.

Besides stating that she'd been a monster to her children, five weeks after the divorce, her husband had a new girlfriend.

It may have been because her obsession with writing had eclipsed everything else, and so for the husband to move so soon afterwards isn't surprising - he may have been finding a way to move on long before the divorce was even a thing to be dealt with, I don't know, and neither does anyone else, but there it is.

In my comment on the thread, I said that I thought the woman did something a lot of people never do - she followed her dreams.

Yes, she did hurt people, her kids and herself - she regretted the decision to some degree, she missed her children, she missed seeing them every day and having them in her life. But she saw them when she could, she visited them as often as she was allowed, and in the end, she was happier, she felt whole.

Personal happiness, one would argue, is selfish especially when weighed against the lives of your children.

But for anyone who was raised by a parent suffering from depression, this is a big deal.

If you've ever been sad, constantly down on yourself, filled with self-loathing and short tempered to practically everything in your life, you're like a bomb waiting to go off.

Personally I think it was the right decision for her to leave.

Sure there were other ways to deal with this situation of hers, but the article reads as if she was handling this all on her own either due to fear of having no one understand her and judging her (which is happening right now) or because she never found anyone to confide in and trust with the heavy burden of whatever personal struggle she was going through.

And despite the internet's best efforts, and thousands of people feeling similarly and sharing such thoughts in some way, an outsider and indeed another person suffering through the same torment, wouldn't feel the exact same pain - pain, and handling pain is different for everyone.

If I ever have kids, personally, I don't think I would ever leave them.

Sure, it sounds like I support her move. But that's because it seems to have worked. Her husband is happy, her kids are happy, and she's happy, something they might not have been before she "abandoned" them.

By the way, the title of the article? Really sensationalist.

If she had abandoned them she wouldn't have stayed in contact, she wouldn't have made arrangements to spend time with her kids, and I think the negative connotations with that word have spurred most, if not all, the heated responses towards the article.

Again, if the husband had left and had "abandoned" his kids, the discussion would've been different.

One thing I value most when people share such intimate stories is that those reading it aren't doing it to judge the person's choices, they're reading it to get a new perspective and take away something from the story that made an impression on them (good or bad).

Unfortunately what I got was the opposite.

But what can you do, really?

Anything and everything you say can and will be judged, but I wish people would drop the pretense of "not judging but...", it's both irritating and hypocritical. Yes, if it struck a cord with you, I understand your need to state your opinion and what you would do in the same situation, but persecuting someone for the choices they've made in theirs?

You don't live their life. You don't know their struggle. You can read about it all you want, but you'll never be able to feel what it is they've felt or know exactly what pushed them to make the choices they've made.

The story ends on a seemingly happy note, so why do you have to bring someone down when it's apparent that the choice, though unpopular, was the right one?

As I said on Facebook:

Isn't it so easy to say you don't judge, but when the topic is controversial, suddenly you know everything about what's going on in a person's head?

What you would do in the same situation is irrelevant, if someone is sharing something sensitive, it isn't your place to judge their choices.

For the discussion on the NaNoWriMo group regarding this article CTRL+F and type, "Why I abandoned my young family".

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NaNoWriMo: The true struggle begins

NaNoWriMo:

Update

When Real Life invades, and I'm sure you know what happens next...

Day Four

This was an important test for me - not only was it a practical exam, but also the first day that I would be taken away from my laptop and I wouldn't be able to write. 

And GUUYS, it was hard af.

Not only did I completely tank my exam, I felt so depressed coming home that I lay in bed for almost three hours. THREE HOURS. Wasted. Because of a crappy exam. 

I didn't want to be around anyone or do anything.

And suffice to say, I looked at my laptop from my position on the bed, and cried some more. 

I'm pretty far in word count considering I started a day late, but that doesn't excuse the fact that I almost purposely missed a day to write.

But all was not lost - after spending three hours being a useless lump in bed and watching series to make myself feel better (and eating because food fixes all the world's problems), I decided that I needed a way to cope.

And arguably, it was the most productive writing day I had, clocking in at 4000words by the time I turned in for bed. 

Throughout the day, before I had gotten down to writing, I couldn't talk to anyone without getting upset, but my characters helped, and writing was a great way to deal with the crappiness I felt.

By the time I saved the document I was feeling all kinds of better, and even apologized to my boyfriend for my crappy mood (apologizing to anyone is the last thing a person experiencing a crappy day wants to do) but by that point, I almost forgot about my bad exam. Almost. But that's besides the point!

Writing has proven to be a comfort and a real method of dealing with life for me. 

This wasn't the first time, but it normally took a lot to get me to write during my "sad" days. 

Thankfully a depleted word-count was enough initiative to get me typing away and fixing myself up for the next day's exam.

Source

Day Five

It was yet another practical that awaited me and yet another day that life would invade resulting in my writing time cut short. 

However, the exam went well in my opinion, I certainly felt better about it then the last exam, and so I spent the day celebrating with series and food - yes, I realize how I celebrate and how I am when I'm sad is about the same, but it works for me. 

Sadly, this did not apply to my writing time.

I clocked up only 1k at the end of the day, long enough that I hit the necessary word count for the day, but hardly enough considering my previous days. Still, I was satisfied with the little I wrote. 

Between writing though, I posted on the NaNoWriMo threads for help with some research and was told of something I just had to check out - the majority of the reason why I didn't write more than yesterday was because I ended up youtubing fight scenes (and a couple of trailers...by the way Big Hero Six, Minions and Penguins of Madagascar? CANNOT WAIT TO WATCH IT).

It was largely thanks to the NaNoWriMo group on Facebook pushing its members to hit the 8, 337 words to get us up to speed, that  I successfully got there and then some before I turned in for the night.

Day Six

Unlike the two days before, I got up early to write a bit before I had to get ready for college to take another exam - theory this time - and then I wrote a bit more while waiting to leave the house.

I hit roughly 500-800words by the time I left, and when I returned, I spent a large majority of the time preparing for the next exam which would be tomorrow. 

However, even with that more or less done, I got down to writing once more and at 10, 005 words, I was more than happy to take a bit of a break and get to studying again.

Because yes, I am doing yet another exam tomorrow - three in succession truly is a gift. 

But I suppose that makes it fair in some respects, I had previously thought my exams in November would hinder my ability to write but in fact, it encourages it.

Unlike other people doing NaNoWriMo who are juggling work, school and kids, my time has been largely free other than the occasions of studying and preparing my practical things.

And to think, I was so reluctant to take the challenge because of exams, and here I am still writing and keeping up. 

I'm glad I took the leap and decided to join NaNoWriMo this year.

At least at the end, whether I win or not, I can say I took a chance and tried my best to get those 50K words because whatever result, that's more words than I would've had without NaNoWriMo and all its participants helping each other along. 

What I've learnt over these three days is that writing is and always will be a form of expression, whether or not what you're writing relates directly to your life, it will be there for you for as long as you want it to be. And that community is everything - you may be a recluse or someone that doesn't need social interaction to function, but having people you can bounce ideas off and to encourage you will never get old.

These lessons aren't new, but I'm thankful for the reminder.

Source

  

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NaNoWriMo: BAM! Brain juice!

NaNoWriMo

Update 

So it's day three and my brain decided it was time to write - who was I to refuse?

Day Three

I gave up sleep today. For the first time in a long time. 

And if you knew me, you would know how important my sleep is.

At five, the plotbunnies came a'knocking. I refused. 

At five thirty, they were insistent. Still I refused to budge. 

By six, they were all but pounding my skull in until I got up to make the pain go away (oh Myprodol, you light up my life), but by six thirty the plotbunnies - though weakened, continued to whine. 

And begrudingly I turned on my laptop, opened word and stared.

I had no idea what they wanted me to do: I was finally where they wanted me and they said...nothing? Annoyed, I typed a few things down, just to get me started, at first they were random words and then...

The hopeful wish that someone on the NaNoWriMo group could help me with an idea to move the story along was practically pointless, the plotbunnies hurled through the door like a freight train and the words came: gradually at first until time had passed and suddenly...

5000words grinned at me from the bottom of the Word document.

Could it be?

Roughly two hours had passed. Not the fastest I'd ever typed, but I had edited here and there (shhh, the NaNoWriMo gods need never know...) and there I was, the first checkpoint in the 50K word challenge.

I still had a long way to go, but I had reached a milestone in two days, with one day behind.

At this current state, I'm not sure how much I've repeated and whether everything I wrote made sense as a whole, but the word count had gone up and that was the challenge.

As many have pointed out: NaNoWriMo is not a competition to write the next bestseller in thirty days (though damn, what an accomplishment that would be!), but a challenge to write every day. Why though? Why is that important?

On day three of NaNoWriMo, I found out: Writing is an art form that requires an unending amount of discipline.

You can have talent in spades, be coveted as the next J.K Rowling, G. R. R. Martin, Jane Austen, Oscar Wilde or Shakespeare! But that talent is useless without discipline - without practice - without making mistakes and learning.

If those great writers only wrote when they felt like it, they probably wouldn't have created such amazing pieces of work that have stayed with fans for years.

As an author once said, "If a draft takes more than three months to write, trash it and start over."

And you know what would've happened if everyone had to do that? Short answer would be that there would definitely be less books in the world.

The thing is, the writing time for a draft stretches years upon years because we, as writers, get attached to this phrase, this character, this scene, this relationship and editing becomes more painful then it already is.

But we hold on, we procrastinate longer then we should and before we know it, we've wasted so much time and then forgotten why we started. Time passes and then we find ourselves reading an unfinished draft that could've been the next big thing in whatever way you wanted it to be.

Why?

Because we're afraid.

Yet another thing I've learnt from NaNoWriMo is that there's no space and no time for that.

People who've accepted the 50K challenge have dared to reach that goal, as unattainable and difficult as it may be when you're sitting in front of a blank screen with a blinking cursor. They have dared to write, regardless of what it is, to give their ideas words and let other people know what it is that's been picking at their brains.

And I think that's the most amazing thing about NaNoWriMo.

Done by Kat Mallon, taken from the NaNoWriMo Facebook group

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